I’ve been thinking a lot lately about accountability. This past week, a dear friend of mine and I were talking about experiences that are causing us some stress. She mentioned how owning one’s role in the interaction is incredibly powerful, so powerful, it can release our resistance to our own healing.
Let me tell you what happened then. On and off, for about six years, I have experienced mild to severe TMJ, an inflammation of the temporomandibular joint in my jaw. It sucked. It hurt. A Lot. When it flared up, my jaw popped out of place and felt like the lower half of my face was hanging from my skull by a thread.
ThetaHealing, among other modalities has been a huge help in aiding its remission, but whenever I would get stressed, there it was! Back, like this really obnoxious friend, chattering away about nothing, giving me information, I did not want or ask for.
Long story short: my girlfriend and I are on the beach. I share that my jaw has been doing much better lately, and with all the transitions coming up in my life, I could really use some additional energetic support prioritizing my focus, but that I felt ultimately, a bit afraid, because in some ways, I still felt “invisible,” “not here” “and unseen” by the universe, the creator of all that is, even my own spiritual and energetic team.
So we explored this together. What we discovered as we talked was that my soul chose to come here, incarnate in this body, have my family etc… despite my energetic counsel’s advice, to “sit this one out,” I chose to have this particular life anyway. I said, “no way, I’m going. I’ll show you guys.”
My cover story though- the story-line I have been reciting to myself over and over again through out my life has been really really good, are you ready?
AMY’S VERY FUNNY COVER STORY FOR HER SUPER SECRET OP- MISSION TO EARTH:
I was “tricked” into coming here, abandoned, left to figure it out all alone, and how mean of the universe to drop me down here without any help at all.
We looked at this together and discovered that my counsel was in fact very present for me, they have always been, actually.
AND… I was intentionally hiding from them!
Like a kindergartener who thinks they are being very sneaky, but is very obvious to the adult in the room, I was hiding out, being invisible and creating experiences in my life to reinforce this idea, “that yea, I am invisible, I’m not here. No one can see me… therefore I have to do everything alone and no one can help me. “
All these years, I was blaming the universe for my choices.
I decided on the beach to own that my decision to be born was MINE. That my decisions to be invisible were MINE. That my decision to blame the universe. YUP. Also MINE.
Instantly, my jaw popped back into alignment. That was a week ago; my jaw has been pain free since, and by all intents and purposes, you could call my life stressful right now. I’m planning my wedding; getting ready for a book release, planning teaching trips, building new gardens in the farm, seeing clients, the list goes on. And my jaw feels great.
So, where in your life are you hiding out from owning your role in your reality?
What are you afraid to own?
Let’s explore it together. Have a listen. Enjoy!